Tamera's Take: P.T.S.D., CATS, and What the hell am I doing in Crucita Ecuador?

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Tamera's Take is about being here.
Are you ready?  I am.

...going to have to get back to you on that one.

The gully gave way behind the once beautiful house.

It has been about two months since our last post.  Well, my husband's last post. I started this one on June 17, and obviously was not able to finish it. Today is July 17.  I do not know what to say except that since April 16, 2016, I have no idea what I am doing anymore.

On Pandora Radio listening to: "Under Pressure" by Queen (with a little help from David Bowie)

The song seems appropriate.

Too damaged to pass inspection. It will be torn down.

Of course I am talking about since the earthquake.  I cannot even say the "E" word without feeling nausea.  That would be the "T" word in Spanish.  Terremoto

We will just call it, IT.  If you read Stephen King, you will know that IT is just as terrifying.

The first two weeks after it happened I felt a certain amount of shock was normal.  Expected even.  I did my best to keep the shock in check.

Try to be normal.  Try to move forward.  I said these things to myself every day.  I told myself everything was going to be okay.

A month after it happened, I noticed my "shock", or whatever it was, was not subsiding.  The day I started writing this post marked two months.  Yup still there. Somewhere in the back of my mind I kept thinking ever so briefly, "PTSD".  I associated PTSD with soldiers returning from battle; victims of violent crimes; children dealing with death in the family; etc.  So that cannot be what it going on with me.

Remains of beautiful blue windows from nearby house.

I am acquainted with a few counselors, therapists and psychiatrists, both socially and professionally. I used to work at a women's center, which is how I became acquainted socially with several counselors. But here is the thing about that line of work.  Two words.  "Absolute Confidentiality".  They never discussed clients, and I never asked.  So I do not know a lot about the various types of mental illness and how they are diagnosed.

A long time passed before we could walk the beach again.

I know they exist. I know some can be treated; some can only be managed.  I do not think any can be completely cured. I say this from years of personal experience.  I will not say who, when, where, or how I know them personally.  It is confidential, and let's leave it at that.

I finally contacted one of my counselor friends.  P.T.S.D. (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). Right on the mark.  Damn.

She helped me as much as she could given my location.  Actually she helped me a lot.  She researched and sent me information on free online books about P.T.S.D, online support groups and therapists, etc.  There are even support groups that you can Skype with.

Everyone knows at least one person who suffers from a mental illness. It is an illness that is hard to understand if you have never walked in those shoes.  It is not something people like to talk about.  If you have a broken leg, it is visual.  The pain is something people can relate to.  If you say, oh by the way I suffer from, (fill in the blank), people do not know how to respond or act towards you.  Yet the person with the mental illness is in pain and suffering just as much as the person with the broken leg. Just think about it the next time you meet someone who has Depression, Anxiety Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, P.T.S.D., or any other form of mental illness.

Looking down from the hillside to Crucita

As an extremely introverted person, I analyze everything. Always have.  Always will.  I know I am getting slightly off topic but it seems important for you to know that I thought about the changes in my behavior for the past couple of months.

What were some of those changes?

Crucita fishing boat waiting to go back out to sea.

Separately, they seemed insignificant at first.  However, the more of them I recognized, the more they seemed to start sticking together and forming a black hole in my mind. It was like pieces of me were disappearing.  I am sure I sound crazy at this point, so here are some specific examples.

I started to forget details and events completely.  No recollection at all.

Following a major earthquake, aftershocks are normal for two to three months. I had to look this up. I have no prior experience with earthquakes so I did a lot of research.  It was necessary in order to get through the days (and nights). But I was not able to look any of this up the first week after it happened.  Yes, we had intermittent electricity starting around day 3, but we did not have WiFi for a week.

We live near the ocean. Every time the wind blows, the doors and windows rattle, and I jump out of my skin. Why? Because it sounds and feels like the beginning of an aftershock.

Those aftershocks came.  I read the other day that Ecuador has had over 2,000 aftershocks since April 16.  The aftershocks that I only vaguely remember learning about in school. The only reason I remember the first week of aftershocks we experienced, is because every time one happened, I wrote it down in one of my notebooks.  I had no idea of the measured intensity, since I had no access to any outside communication.  All I could do was write down the time and describe them.  I am not even sure why I was doing this, except that I thought that if there was some pattern, I would see it and know if they were going away or getting worse.

If "worse" then we had to be prepared to leave; even if on foot.  We would not leave the cats. The two Sherpa cat carriers we used to bring our poor cats from Florida to Ecuador, were waiting by the door. I am sure the cats would rather take their chances than get in those carriers again, but in those carriers they would go. We would not be able to bring much else with us. Some dry food, water, change of clothes, hats, sunscreen, Off, sanitizing gel, candles, matches, cash, passports.  I had filled our beach bag with items that we thought were critical if we had to flee.  There was no pattern to those aftershocks.

Every day ready to flee.

Nightmares.  I did not really dream about the earthquake.  I dreamed about tsunamis.  Almost every day.  I still do occasionally.  Thankfully the dreams are getting better.

How does that tsunami dream look?  I am on the third or fourth floor of a building, standing in front of a large window that overlooks the ocean.  I am sure this building represents my house but looks nothing like it.  It is night as I stand in front of this window.  But darkness does not stop me from seeing the wall of ocean water coming towards me.  It is taller than the place I am standing. I do not move.  I do not yell.  I know it is coming and there is nothing I can do.  That is my nightmare.

It is important to say that during this earthquake, we were never in danger of a tsunami.  I do not know why that became my nightmare.

I will speed through some of the other "symptoms" I experienced.

No desire to take walks anymore.
No desire to touch the ocean.
I stopped taking photos.
I forgot nearly every Spanish word I knew.

Every family member and friend wanted to ask me questions and talk about the earthquake.  I did NOT want to talk about it.  At all.  Ever.  But they wanted and needed information.  So with my head spinning, I talked.

I wanted to do things to help other people here in my village or nearby, but I had absolutely no way to do so.  I felt helpless.  I felt even more guilty.  I felt guilty that I was alive and my home survived.


My husband got an Earthquake App for his phone. It sends out an alert of earthquakes/aftershocks in real-time.  So basically an alarm goes off as it happens.  I hate that app.  Every time the alarm went off I went numb.  Every time there was a notification, my husband had to say it out loud.  I finally asked him to stop telling me.  I just could not take it any more.

Sleep is a thing of the past. Before the earthquake I was in bed and asleep early every night.  I woke up between 5:30 - 6:30 am every day.  Now sleep comes as the sun rises if I am lucky.  Am I just afraid to sleep in the dark?  I do not know.  Am I ever going to feel happy again?  I do not know that either. But I hope so.

It is amazing how things can change 180 degrees in the matter of 58 seconds.  That is how long the earthquake lasted, 58 seconds.

Everyone back in the States asks us when are we coming home.  Our response - we are home.  But I would be lying if I did not admit that I miss those familiar people and places back in America.

Gertrude Stein, an American writer, poet, feminist, and playwright once wrote, "America is my country and Paris is my home town".

America is and always will be my country. I have called many places home in my life. Orange Park Florida, Newport Rhode Island, Elmira New York, Tallahassee Florida, Hollywood Florida, Gadsden Alabama, Atlanta Georgia, Jacksonville Florida.

Right now Crucita is my home.  If I am lucky, I will have the chance to call other places home as well.

I have no idea of what the future will look like.  I know what I want it to look like. But that is going to take some time and a lot of adjusting.  Until then, I am just waiting for my compass to point north again.

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From Ecuador to the United States - Overmans Home for Christmas

Dear Readers of Our Blog.

After surviving a devastating earthquake in Ecuador, we desperately want to go to see our family and friends for Christmas back home in the United States.  We have set up a GoFundMe account to try to achieve that goal. 

Last year we decided to move to the coast of Ecuador. This decision was reached after a lot of research and soul searching about what and where our lives needed to be. We chose the small fishing village of Crucita Ecuador, in the Manabi province. There is no mail delivery in Crucita. No large stores.  No malls.  The electricity goes out a lot.  But the land and the people are beautiful.  It is a simple life.  We were very happy.  

On April 16th, at about 7:00 pm we were watching a movie when we heard a loud boom, as if someone had just dropped 20 ton boulder next to our house. Then the house began to violently shake back and forth, as the booming sound increased.  I did not even realize I had fallen to ground when I heard my husband Jason yell, we have to get out of here, it's an earthquake.  I know I was in shock.  I also know that in a split second I had to make the decision to leave my cats and run out of the house as quickly as possible.  

We were safe for the moment.  We found some of our friends/neighbors.  They were safe too.  We later found out that one of our neighbors who we did not know personally, had been struck fatally by falling debris. 

The next few days were a total blur.  More earthquakes occurred.  No water.  No electricity.  No phones. No place to buy food.  We had no way to contact our family back in the United States to let them know we were okay.  We have friends in Portoviejo. We had no way to know if they were okay. Portoviejo is where we go to shop for food and supplies.  As with many of the roads and highways, the road to Portoviejo was collapsed.  A car had fallen into it.  I do not even know if the people survived.  I hope that they are okay. 

El Centro Portoviejo - where we used to shop

We are basically cut off from the surrounding towns.  Even if we can get to them, the places where we shopped are gone.  There are plenty of tiendas (little stores) here in Crucita and they eventually began to open.  They run out of items quickly. Cat food is nearly impossible to find.  When we do, it is almost $3 for a 2 cup bag of food. We have four cats.  

We are getting by as best as we can.  It is costing us more to live here right now. The added expenses are making things difficult. I know things will get better, as things do after a natural disaster. I just do not know when.  

The road to Portoviejo from our village Crucita.

What I do know is that we are barely getting by right now.  There is no way we can afford to fly home to the United States in December.  The prices of airline tickets continue to rise.  The availability of tickets continue to decrease.  If we are not able to buy tickets in the next month or two, we will not be able to see our family and friends in December. This will be equally devastating for us and for our family.  We cannot express how much we miss them.  We know they are missing us and have been so worried about us since the earthquake occurred.  We are hoping to have a happy reunion in December. 

Thank you for taking the time to read our story.  If you or someone you know can help us make it possible to get back to the United States, by making a donation to GoFundMe, we will not only be grateful, but we promise to show our appreciation for your kindness by paying it forward.  When we are financially able, every penny you donate to us, we will donate to other families in need. 

We thank you for all your support.

A monument to the fisherman of Crucita

Tamera's Take: Octopus's Garden, Cats & Water Always Wins

Tamera's Take is about being here.

Are you ready?  I am.

Octopus Garden - Courtesy of Divetime.com

"I'd like to be under the sea

In an octopus's garden in the shade

He'd let us in, knows where we've been

In his octopus's garden in the shade

I'd ask my friends to come and see

An octopus's garden with me

I'd like to be under the sea

In an octopus's garden in the shade

We would be warm below the storm

In our little hideaway beneath the waves

Resting our head on the sea bed

In an octopus's garden near a cave

My Octopus Garden

We would sing and dance around

Because we know we can't be found

I'd like to be under the sea

In an octopus's garden in the shade

We would shout and swim about

The coral that lies beneath the waves

(Lies beneath the ocean waves)

Oh what joy for every girl and boy

Knowing they're happy and they're safe

(Happy and they're safe)

We would be so happy you and me

No one there to tell us what to do

I'd like to be under the sea

In an octopus's garden with you

In an octopus's garden with you

In an octopus's garden with you"

                      by Richard Starkey/Ringo Starr

A lot has happened in the past ten days.  So much that my husband and I have not had time to write anything new for our blog.

I guess you could say we have transitioned into the next phase of our adventure in Ecuador.  Well, that would not be an accurate statement.  "You" are not saying anything about it.  I am.

The problem I face is this.  I do not have time to write because we are so busy.  But because we are so busy, I have a lot to write about.

High Tide.  Very High Tide.

I am one of those "list" people.  Someone who is forever mentally organizing all those little bits of shiny junk that are swirling around in my head.  All the events, sights, sounds, people, places, sea turtles, birds, cats, paperwork, trees, sea turtle nests, flowers, shells, bands, waves, sunrises, immigration, sunsets, fruits, vegetables, bicycles, keys, cars, cedulas, stores, hats, lamps, driftwood, 12-IX tourist visa, pottery, garbage, gardens, bingo, buses, houses, rain, attorney, shacks, walls, bits of rope, more bits of rope, passports, sea glass, dead fish, live fish, music, waves, sand, and as much as I have tried to ignore them - small colorful rocks.

Every day, for just a moment, panic sets in as I try to find one of my four notebooks so I can make my lists.  Lists of things to remember for some future reference that I may or may not remember why. My husband is kind when he blogs about my lists,  He praises me for taking "copious notes". Though, on some level it must be annoying to him.  It is annoying to me.  Especially when I cannot find one of my four identical spiral notebooks to write those copious notes.

South Crucita Beach at the Cliffs

Then there are the digital photos to sort through.  Literally thousands of them. We are not crazy picture-takers by nature.

I am an amateur photographer relegated to using the camera on my Motorola Droid cell phone.  Sometimes it takes 30 or 50 shots on a camera phone to get 2 or 3 decent pictures.

All my SLRs are carefully packed in a bin, stored at my mother's house in Florida.  I would love to have them even though I know I would get very little use out of them.  Film is expensive.  Developing film is expensive.  Finding someone skilled to develop my film is difficult at best.  I could set up a dark room and do it myself.  I certainly have the space in our house.  What I do not have is the equipment - here.

You guessed it.  Packed away in a bin in Florida.


I am not complaining.  My husband does not have any of his bass guitars, amps, recording equipment.  They are not even packed in a bin in Florida.  They are in the hands of some other musicians.  Maybe in Florida.  Maybe not.

I cannot bring this home?

So this Raven (me) collects her bits of shiny junk and artistically (in her mind) arranges them around the house.  The need to create was so strong yesterday, that she built a very tiny bench - do not laugh - for shells.

She built it out of pieces of wood that had washed on the shore of the beach in Crucita.  Okay so the junk does not have to be shiny for a Raven to pick it up.  Just interesting in some way.

"Why is a Raven like a writing desk?  I don't know."

Right now a Raven is more like an Octopus. At least in the collecting of shiny bits of junk and bringing it home.

None of this is the reason we have been busy.

It is impossible for two people who have worked all their lives to go somewhere and do absolutely nothing.  Maybe for the first few weeks.

After that, the mind starts to go a little numb and I can actually feel the cogs breaking away from the gears.  I have the added disadvantage of not being able to do very much physically.

Writing this blog has been great for both of us.  We have a creative outlet.  We think the readers enjoy the stories, and hopefully we are providing helpful information for anyone who wants to visit or live in Ecuador.

Houses on the Cliff

Enter a new purpose.

Our friend Tamy has started a company of her own.  She works hard and is actually well on her way to having a successful business.  She has clients.  Probably more than she thought she would have at this early stage.  Tamy is very smart and knows that if she wants to consistently reach her target audience, she has to do some marketing.  She has already created a branding logo - which is fabulous. She is now working on her website.


Enter Tamera and Jason.

Finders Keepers

Tamy has hired a web designer, but she has to provide him with content, layout, and the mechanics of how she wants her website to work.  She is bi-lingual and her English is excellent.  However, as we have discovered while learning Spanish, everything does NOT translate.  I will give you an example.

Garage (garaje in Spanish).  Seems simple enough. Except that a "garage" in the United States is, well, a garage. It has a roof, walls, a roll up door and sometimes a window or two. The definition of a "garaje" is a private parking space, where a vehicle is stored. In Ecuador that means a secured parking lot or driveway.

Our property has a garaje. There is an eight foot high locked gate to secure the garaje. If we ever buy a car or motorcycle, we can park it in our garaje and it will be safe.

Make no mistake. It is not a garage. An American will see the word "garage" and think what we thought when we first read the description of our property in Crucita.

Translation.

I will give you another example.

Shiny Beach Stuff

We saw a sign today that read: "Deposito basura el receptaculo.  Cuide el medio ambiente." We know enough Spanish to understand that the first sentence stated, "put your trash in the receptacle". I did not even read the second sentence. The first one was instruction enough for me. Then Jason says, "what does ambiente mean?".

I had no idea.  If I had to guess I would say, "ambient". I turn on my cell phone to translate.  Sure enough. It means ambient. What does ambient have to do with trash? I am not sure. I translate "Cuide". It means "care". I translate "el medio". It means "the middle".

Put them all together and you get, "Care the middle ambient". That has to be wrong. It does not even make sense.

It is that translation thing again.

I type the entire sentence into the translator.  "Care for the environment."  That makes sense.

As a favor for our new friends, Tamy & Jared, we are helping her to create her website content. What else do we have to do?!  My husband Jason is the writer of the family.  I review content and agonize over sentence structure, word placement, etc.  He and I do not always agree.  We will leave it at that. All in all we really are enjoying the process; and helping our friends create a website North Americans will understand.

T-3 Passport Stamp

The best part is that we are learning from each other. Our Spanish is getting better every day. It has to. We are going to really need it on Monday.

When the tides are high, and El Nino is in effect, the landscape at the beach changes drastically. Devastatingly is a better word.

This is sort of true of our life right now.
Full Moon.  Check.
El Nino.  Check.
Extremely High Tides.  Check.
Water crashing over the Malecon every day.  Check.
FBI Background checks needed for Resident Visas.  No Check.
FBI Background checks first promised in 8 weeks; then 10-13 weeks.  Still No Check.


Waves crashing over the Malecon.  Huge rocks washing away with the tide.  Things washing ashore, then being dragged back out to sea.  Workers scrambling to rebuild retaining walls to keep the "cliff houses" from disappearing.  Water always wins.

No swimming against the tide.  No fighting a run-out.  You have to figure out how to work with the water.  Water always wins.

Tiny Shell Bench

For those of you who are thinking about obtaining your Resident Visa in Ecuador, you must read Paperwork, Paperwork and More Paperwork.  Then add this piece of information.

The turnaround time to receive your FBI Background Checks has increased three times since we started the process last year.  We should have received ours last week according the latest FBI estimate.  When they did not arrive, I called the FBI.  Yes, you can call the FBI.  My mother advised me to "light a fire under them".  Needless to say I did NOT take her advice.  Remember.  Water always wins.  Work with the water.

Water Over the Malecon.  Water Always Wins.

Our new estimate for receiving the FBI background checks is around the first week of March.  Our current 90 day T-3 Tourist Visa expires at the end of February.  I knew that there was a possibility that we would not receive our Resident Visas prior to our Tourist Visa expiration date.

I set aside the contingency money to cover the cost of obtaining the 12-IX Tourist Visa that allows us an additional 90 days to stay in the country while we wait for our Resident Visas to be processed.

What I did not count on was that in 2016 the cost of those 12-IX Tourist Visas increased significantly.  I also had not counted on the FBI taking so long to process our requests for background checks.  By the way the customer service agent at the FBI office said, and I quote, "we are just opening September 2015 mail now".   Okay I understand they are busy.

The final wave over the Malecon is that our Immigration Attorney can not file any of our documents for the Resident Visas until those FBI background checks arrive.

Monday.  Manta Monday.

Two of my very important notebooks!

We have spent the past few days organizing and copying the necessary documents to apply for our 12-IX Tourist Visas.  Our attorney is taking us to the town of Manta on Monday, so we can go to the Ecuadorian Immigration Office (Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Human Mobility). There we will fill out the necessary forms (with the help of our attorney), have our photos taken, then provide them with copies of our passports, the T-3 stamp on our passports, a financial statement, state background checks (thankfully we had those prior to arriving in Ecuador).

We opted for paying our attorney to assist us with this process, otherwise we would have to go to the Immigration Office in Manta two or three times, and we would have to rely on my limited Spanish vocabulary when speaking to the immigration officials.

We only have to go Manta one time with our attorney. The attorney will handle the rest for us.

I am very thankful we have an attorney.

My people better get this Visa thing fixed.

You could choose to do all this on your own, but I would not advise it.

The forms have to be filled out in Spanish. The documents have to be translated into Spanish.  Manta is 40 km away.

Three trips to an Immigration Office in Manta is not my idea of fun.  One trip is going to be difficult enough given my limited Spanish.  Our attorney does not speak English. I will do my best to communicate with him in Spanish.

I think it is time to take a break and go in search of a few more shiny bits of junk for my Octopus Garden.  The tide is low right now.  But not for long.

Remember.  Water always wins.


                              

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Tamera's Take: Space Oddity, Cats & Technology

Tamera's Take is about being here.
Are you ready?  I am.

The circumference of the Earth is 24,902 miles (40,075 km) at the Equator.  From pole to pole, Earth is only 24,860 miles (40,008 km) around.  The Earth's gravitational pull is slightly weaker at the Equator.  These are both due to the Equatorial Bulge caused by the Earth's rotation, or spin.  The slightly weaker gravitational pull and momentum of the spinning Earth makes equatorial regions ideal places for space launches.      

Thank you BBC Future for the above information.

Ground control to Major Tom.

The United States launches most spacecraft from the Kennedy Space Center in Florida, as close to the Equator as possible in the continental U.S.

NASA Kennedy Space Center

Side Note:  As I am typing this segment of Tamera's Take, I decide to "fact check" the Kennedy Space Center.  A second countdown is underway at this very moment for Orbital ATK CRS-4.  The first countdown on December 4th was cancelled due to high wind gusts.

Cygnus Spacecraft                        Courtesy NASA

Maybe not as exciting as a Space Shuttle launch, but equally important.

This Atlas V Rocket is carrying the Cygnus spacecraft, which contains four tons of supplies for the International Space Station, including scientific experiments.

If you visit Florida you can get up close and personal with this technology at Kennedy Space Center Visitor Complex. Worth the trip!


At latitude "0", the Equator runs directly through Ecuador (and 13 other countries).  Mark Twain wrote about his travels around the world in the book "Following the Equator".  Although he never made it to Ecuador, I cannot help but feel that he wrote about it just the same.  After all, the Spanish word for Equator is -

You guessed it.  Ecuador.

There are no rockets or spacecraft in Ecuador.  No launchpads.  That does not mean one does not think about space, even in the small fishing town of Crucita Ecuador.

Tang in Ecuador!

Without the ability to send technology to space, we would not have a lot of the gadgets that we rely on every day. Would that be a terrible thing?  It does make you wonder.

I wonder.  Would we still have Tang?  Does anyone still have Tang?  The answer of course is "yes", and "yes".   Tang was invented in the 1950's.  Contrary to popular belief it was not invented for the U.S. space program.  You can even buy Tang in Ecuador.

It comes in many flavors other than orange.  I know because we bought it.

With the help of satellite communications, an excellent flight crew and a Boeing 767, we
Crossed the Line.  We did not go through the ritual that sailors have for over 400 years (to transition from Pollywog to Shellback) but we went through a ritual all the same.

I guess you could say we are part of the (Celestial) Order of King Neptune.  That suits me.

One of Many Sunsets

We spent our first week here without cell phones, television, cable, or radio.

We had access to those things.

The two main cell carriers are Claro and Movistar.  You can get cable through DirecTV, and apparently there are a lot of WiFi companies.  Helpful hint - bring an unlocked cell phone.


We decided it was okay to unplug (mostly) for a little while.  I have to admit that we used WiFi.  It was a necessary evil to help us navigate through our new surroundings; to stay in contact with family, close friends and let people know we were doing just fine.  We used it to write this blog.

Full Moon - We Need a Telescope!

How did we spend most our time that first week?

We swam in the ocean. We walked. A lot. We walked on the beach, along the Calle Malecon, and we walked through the town.  We met a lot of people.

Walking lets you see and do things that are practically invisible to most people while driving or riding in a car.  


We spent our evenings on the roof terrace watching the sun set.  We watched the stars, wishing we had a telescope.  Night Sky helped us identify constellations.  Even when there were clouds obscuring our view.  Technology.

Those evenings we would talk about how much fun we had.  Compare notes of what we had seen. Show each other the pictures that we took.  We took hundreds of pictures. That is easy to do when they are digital.

There is that technology again.  Once you have it, there is no escaping it.  Almost.

 Our LG Washing Machine with Fuzzy Logic

We looked at the stars some more.  Can you see Pisces this time of year? Or even in this part of the hemisphere?  I will have to "look that up".  There is that technology, yet again. We really need a telescope.

Orion
Canis Major
Gemini
Taurus

These constellations were clearly visible without technology or a telescope.  A telescope that I still wish we had.

There are many myths about the sea and the stars.  They seem connected.  You can thank the Greeks and Romans for a lot of that.

Thank you!

There are plenty of modern day myths.  Chupacabra is one of our favorites.  Then there are the myths created everyday on Facebook.  Not our favorites.

Another myth was thinking that we would spend an entire week without technology.  In reality, we probably could have.

Exactly where is that Pisces constellation?  Right next to the Aries constellation.

Where they should be.  

CAT returns from his walk.

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Tamera's Take: Cast Away, Cats and Blue Bottle Diablos

I would first like to say !Bienvenidos! (welcome) to our new readers in Ecuador, Ukraine, Germany, Romania and the United Kingdom.

Tamera's Take is about being here.
Are you ready?  I am.

In the beginning, we considered going the shipping container route to bring most of our belongings.  Then we considered airline cargo (basically a lot of checked luggage) to bring some of our belongings.  In the end there were just too many complications with trying to bring all that stuff.

Some things we gave away to family

If you read my husband Jason's most recent post, Familia y Los Amigos - They Love You.  Always and Forever, then you know that we sold or gave away almost everything we owned in order to move to Ecuador.

We arrived in Ecuador with four checked bags weighing a total of 200 pounds, and four carry-on bags consisting of a laptop bag, a small suitcase on wheels, and two carry on pet carriers containing two cats each.

Yes we traveled with pets.  Four pets to be exact - in case you did not do the math.

We rented a fully furnished house about 75 yards (68 metres) from the beach.   Except for a toaster and a frying pan, the house has everything needed.



I think you get the picture.  No.  Not that picture.  The other one.

Yes we brought our CATS!!

There will be a future post on container shipping, air cargo, what we brought and what we wish we had brought.

I will mention one item I wish we had brought. Benedryl.

Sea Glass

Something I notice, now that I live so close to the beach (playa), is the array of things that I find on the shore.

Some things discarded by the many fisherman as they sort out their catch, some things that come directly from the ocean, and some things that wash up with the tides from another place.


My home state of Florida has nearly 1200 miles of coastline, surrounded by the Atlantic Ocean, Gulf of Mexico and the Florida Straits.

Drift wood? Drift tree!

This is not a geography lesson.

Treasure hunters with their metal detectors, beach combers picking up shells, sea glass, drift wood, conservationist protecting sea turtle nests and native plants of the dunes; these sights are second nature to me.  Just like spending summers at my grandmother's beach cottage in St. Augustine, going to Anastasia Park with friends as a teenager and as an adult taking my own daughter to the these beaches.

But I never lived at the beach.  Never lived anywhere with the shore and the ocean just steps away from my front door.


A lot of things get discarded in a natural process or otherwise.

Fishermen discard some things

Some things make that transition from shore to ocean and back to the shore again.  Maybe not the same shore, but a shore.  Somewhere.

I learned from an early age to keep an eye out for one of those things that wash up on shore in the natural process - jellyfish.  Why?  Because if jellyfish are on the shore, you can bet they are in the water close to the shore.

If you have never experienced a jellyfish sting, I am glad.



I was not so lucky.  It is inevitable when you spend so much time at the beach.  No matter how well you checked out the shore before you got into the water.  As a kid though, you are sometimes willing to take that risk.

Little Sting Ray

I have not been stung by a jellyfish since I was a child.  I suppose I learned my lesson.  I still scan the shore before I jump into the ocean.

That did not matter two days ago.  Jason and I went down to the beach for the specific purpose of swimming in the ocean.
I bugged him about it all day.  I really wanted to go swimming.  Even though Jason was a bit tired - we had both been up since 5:00 am and he had been very busy all day - he recognized that pouting face of mine and with a smile, took me down to the beach to go swimming.

That is what you do for the person you love.  At least that is the kind of thing my husband does for me.  All the time.  He do what he do.



I think I had been in the surf for about one minute when it happened.  Really.  One minute.

Photo by Vlad Minin                              Courtesy of National Geographic

As I swung my left arm behind me to get past the next wave swell coming up, I feel something brush up against me.  My upper left arm.  I stop swimming immediately and float, trying to figure out if a fish or sting ray had nudged me.  Right at that moment, there was pain.  "No a shark."  I say to myself.  Again pain.  This time on my right arm, although, I look to my left because the pain has not stopped there.  I just know what I am going to see.  Instead, I see something else.  It is blue and very small.  Floating just below the surface of the water.  Maybe three inches below the water.  It was about 1 inch in size.  It.

Now the pain has completely surrounded my upper body and my mind goes back to the shark idea.  Completely confused and suddenly frozen, I say to Jason, "something just bit me".  He says to me, "get out of the water".  Not panicked but concerned.  I can see it in his face.

I cannot move.  Not out of fear.  I am just unable to move.  I realize that there is something wrapped completely around me.  Fishing line?  Uh no.  Not fishing line.  Clear and stringy though.

This hurt. A lot.

Excruciating pain.  Jason realizes that I cannot move.  I am not even sure if he is saying anything to me now.  I sort of get mad.  Not at Jason.  But at whatever just bit me and is still trying to bite me.

Meanwhile in the back of my mind, "It was a jellyfish.  But, it was blue.  Jellyfish are not blue.  At least not the ones I know of.  I scanned the shore.  I know I did."


I realize I am being dragged back to shore by Jason.  Then I am being washed up on the shore by a wave. I am in the sand.  Grateful for the rough sand.

"What was it?"  Jason says.

"It was BLUE!"  I say.  Barely able to speak and still grateful for the rough sand.  A blue devil is what I think to myself.  Lucky for me, we are only steps from our front door.  It felt like a mile.  As soon as we get home, Jason starts to apply a series of remedies that most everyone who grows up near the ocean knows.
1. Remove stingers (tentacles).
2. Rinse the affected area with vinegar.

The stingers were pretty much already gone.  Probably into my skin.  So we moved to step two.  Vinegar.  That does nothing to help.  Jason gets on the internet to look up remedies.  We are in Ecuador, not Florida.  Maybe there is something else that we should be doing.  As I am heading upstairs to start step three of the remedies;
3. Shower in hot water.

Jason asks me what they (IT) looked like.  I say, "It was BLUE and very small".  (Except for that long stringy thing that wrapped around me about one hundred times.  Okay.  It was just once but it felt like one hundred.

Step number three helps a little.  I come back downstairs and Jason is looking up "blue jellyfish in Ecuador".  Meanwhile I move to the last step of remedies that we know.
4. Take an over the counter pain reliever.
 

A little better on day two

I swear the pain is actually getting worse. Jason finds a number of pictures and websites (a lot of blogs) that show or discuss this horrible blue jelly creature.  National Geographic website had the most in depth information.

Not a jellyfish.  A Portuguese Man o' War.

Affectionately known in South America (and Australia) as a, "Bluebottle". That is what it was.

A Bluebottle.

BlueBottle Diablo is a better description.

Remember that Benedryl I mentioned earlier?  Apparently vinegar does nothing but make the stinger release more venom.  Anti-allergy medication is what I needed.

You can get Benedryl in Ecuador.

You just can not get it at that moment.  The moment you need it the most.  The moment when you think you have never felt this much pain in all your life.  Of course this is not true.  It just feels that way at the time.

So now we have the remedy checklist.
1. Remove stingers (tentacles)  Check!
2. Hot shower  Check!
3. Anti-allergy medication - like Benedryl  Check!

If I ever get stung again, I am ready.

Ready or not, I hope I never, ever, ever, ever, ever, get ATTACKED by one of those Blue Bottle (diablos) again.

Never.

Wilson!!!

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Familia y Los Amigos - They Love You. Always and Forever

Jimmie and Michele

My wife and I have dreamed of living abroad for a long time now.  We visited Mexico some time ago along with our friends, Jimmie and Michele.  That trip only fanned our flames of that dream.  We did not hotel in Cancun.  We are not the Cancun type (this may surprise you in a moment). We chose to rent a beach house called Casa del Cielo south of there; near a tiny fishing village called Puerto Morelos. It was the best vacation we ever took. We spent quite a lot of time in Puerto Morelos, met the locals, ate the fish, enjoyed life, fell in love with it.  Fast forward.

Puerto Morelos has been found by others. Many, many others.  What would have been affordable to us then is so for out of our stratosphere now that it is staggering.  We searched and hunted, determined to find something, anything there.  It became evident that it was not going to happen.  It also became evident that it might not be safe there anymore.

He do what he do.

We watched a lot of HHI (House Hunters International) trying to get ahead of the curve, looking for new ideas.  As it turns out, there are quite a few Americans looking for something different.  All have their own reasons but the romantic in me believes it boils down to one immutable fact.  We are at heart, explorers. Adventurers of the world.  We have our reasons.  As few or as many as we need, but we want to wander.  We have the traveling bone.  The two hundred and seventh bone in our bodies thank you very much.

We saw an episode featuring a couple moving to Quito.

It piqued our interest even though Quito is almost as far from the las playas or beaches if you prefer, as you can get in Ecuador.  They spoke of the climate.  The spoke of the affordability.  They spoke of the wonderful people.  We saw opportunity.  Fast forward.

We are in Crucita now.  As you already know, we faced quite a few surprises.  There are many to come.  One of the biggest surprises in the whole process was the reactions of our family and friends. Looking back I am more than a bit surprised by our actions as well.

Daughter and Mother.  Lovely.

Surprise #1:  Family - What do you mean you are moving to Ecuador?  Half a world away!  A third world country at that!

We have a great family.  Hard workers, loving, and caring all.  Almost all immediate family live in Jax (Jacksonville) from whence we came.  It is a large family.  A daughter, a brother, and a father live further away but again, most are in Jax.  Most everyone knew we were moving to Ecuador. They knew of our dreams.  When we pulled the trigger why were they not all just so happy for us? Happy we were following our dreams?

Jesse and Loca painted by Tamera.

First off, dreams are just that; dreams. You can talk of your dreams all you want. No one ever knows what is really in your head but you.  Your family is not involved your decision making process.  They don't know where your head is.  They are not there for all the hard work like researching, checking, Skyping, calling *cringe* Government offices/financial institutions, paperwork, and organizing it all. No one really expects you to risk everything and follow dreams.  I mean, who does that?

No one wants to see you go either.  We are leaving our children (now adults) behind.  We are going to be far, far away.  It did not help that we moved our timetable up by almost a year.  When we started trying to organize with our family (who gets what valuables and heirlooms, visiting schedules, etc.) we might as well have poked them in the eye with a sharp stick. Repeatedly.  No really one expected we would move to Ecuador.  Another country.  A different continent.  A different hemisphere.  Not that fast anyway.

Show off!

We received mixed reactions.  Some vehement, others not. There was anger, there was bewilderment, there was sadness. There was also understanding, pride, and hope.  Sometimes in the same sentence from the same person.  Sometimes not. Being there, going through it all was harder than you can imagine.  For all of us.  I don't think anyone can see the other's side when you are in it.  It takes a little distance to get a lot of perspective.

Surprise #2:  Art - What are you willing to give up?

We are accomplished artists my wife and I.  My wife paints extremely well.  Oil is her preferred medium but she is equally talented with watercolor and drawing.  Photography is something else in which she excels   She loves capturing architecture on film and then painting the same.  Surrealism is where she lives.  She also writes occasionally. She is a natural lyricist. She is adept at capturing her dreams in all these mediums and I am always impressed. You see, she does it all on her own. No help, no net. Just her and her talent.

Scott and I rockin' it!

My art is practiced almost exclusively with others.  I am a musician.  Bajos or bass guitar is my thing.  Rock for the most part.  I write lyrics and compose.  Have done since my Father bought me my first guitar when I was 13.  I do a fair job as a recording engineer too though you won't catch anyone hiring me to engineer and produce their stuff.  I learned by ear, like I am learning Spanish, by diving in with those who already spoke the language and learning on the fly.  By age fifteen I had my first paying gig.  In 1996 I was in Nashville recording my first professionally engineered CD.  I work my art with the benefit of help from others.  A collective process.  I love the stage.  I have been in a working band my whole life until that is, about a month ago.  The last one was the one of the best I've ever been in.  "Ozonebaby You're Amazing!"

My wife left all of her art behind.  She sold all of her production equipment.  I quit a great band.  I sold all my equipment including my git fiddles.  Too much equipment, too heavy to ship, too costly.  We have both done this all our lives.  It is like we quit breathing, sleeping, or eating.  We are both going a little nuts with the loss right now.  We could only bring so much and will have to ferry things back when we visit.  We will buy mostly new equipment here.

Fun with family and my friend, Rob.

Surprise #3:  Friends - What the -?

My wife lived in Jax all her life.  She grew up with Anastasia Island, springs, and bogs.  I was born in Virginia.  A life of mountains and life on the water in summer a la the Elizabeth River in Portsmouth.  By age nine I was living in Florida.  My point is we both have lifelong friends in Jax.  From school, from work, from our art.  They are family too.  There was an added family for me in the form of the band.  The concept of band is hard for a lot of people to understand.  Being in one is like having extended family.  You love the good and tolerate the bad if you want to be successful.  You can not keep one together.  You can keep the name and the idea together.  Like Legos, band members are interchangeable.  The idea of the band, the music, the theme, stays the same.  The spirit is there and with the right guys, the energy is there too.

We do what we do.

Our friend's reactions varied just like our family's.  I can only believe everyone experiences the same range of emotions.

Surprise #4: Us vs. Them - Wha, Wha, Whaaaaat?!

Now for the hardest one.  The one where we have to look at ourselves and come to grips with our own mistakes,  Please remember I (TJ) am writing this.

My wife and I are partners, lovers, and friends.

We do not necessarily share the same view ALL the time.  On this we may differ a bit.  On all of it we may differ, but only a bit.

We could have done a better job communicating.  We should have done.  We got defensive.  We never thought in a million years anyone would be unhappy with the choice.  We were not prepared for ANY negativity at all.  We got hurt but never truly understood how we might be hurting others. It is family, close friends.  We are realizing our dream, going to live in paradise after all. They MUST BE HAPPY FOR US!

Jessica's graduation.  With Jesse, Honey, and family.

No they must not.  In this we were all a bit selfish, a bit close minded.  There is a lot of stress involved for those moving away.  There is a lot of stress involved for those who aren't.  We wanted no, craved support.  We sometimes felt we were not getting it.  We felt we were being second guessed, that we were making a mistake, that people thought we were crazy.  We were told that.  People react strangely when someone they love, someone they have know all their lives, leaves. Especially as suddenly as we did.  We did not give them much time to process it.  It was a necessary evil.  The reality is, there was no us vs. them.  There was fear of change and loss.  There was misunderstanding.

Wedding guests?  Family!

Surprise #5: Strangers - Wow!  That is amazing!  Tell us all about it!  You are so lucky!

Ahhh.  Sweet validation.  Bittersweet.  For all the worry over family there is nothing but curiosity and well wishes from those you don't know.  On the surface anyway.  You meet a lot of people when getting your paperwork ready.  You have to tell them what you are doing no matter what.  They all have a million questions no matter who else is waiting behind you. Some are genuinely interested.  Their eyes eat up their face as they lean in and partake of the story, your courageous exploits.  Adventure in South America!  Yay!

Then there are those whose eyes flicker.  Their face slackens just a bit and their smiles do not reach their eyes.  Feigned interest.  Doubt.  You know the words coming out of their mouths are not what they're thinking. Body language is the great equalizer.  You tell them just the same.

It can feel good.  You will trick yourself into believing they are all "with" you.  It's not true and never will be.

For Nana.

I hope this helps you prepare.  Your family and friends will come around. They may not agree with you or your thinking. They may try and talk you out of it, and why not?  They love you and have a genuine concern for you well being. First and foremost remember who they are. They love you.  Take pause. Remember it again.  They love you.  In the end that is all that matters. Ever. Adios!

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