Tamera's Take: Scarves, Cats & Nomads

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Tamera's Take is about being here.
Are you ready?  I am.

Before I begin, I need to say that it was a compliment that my husband borrowed my signature tag line, "are you ready", in his last post.

So we move forward.  Now I have borrowed his.

Las Grietas, Isla Santa Cruz, Galapagos

It is 9:30 am Ecuador time.  That's UTC-5:00 for you international readers.  In Jacksonville Florida it is 10:30 am.  When Daylight Savings Time comes around on Sunday, November 6, 2016 at 2:00 am, Crucita and Jacksonville will be on the same time.

It makes me feel a little closer to my loved ones back home.

What does "trouble maker" mean?

As you have read in my husband's recent blogs, some of our loved ones visited us in August. During their 10 day visit, we were treated to a trip to the Galapagos Islands for four days. Aside from a few minor stomach issues and some clouds, our time in the Galapagos was amazing. Upon returning to our house in Crucita we were greeted by our four cats and a not so fantastic story from our neighbor who was caring for them while we were gone.  Apparently one of the little darlings decided to hide in one of the guest bedrooms (upstairs) while we were loading our luggage into the truck at 3:30 am. At 4:00 am, the upstairs rooms were closed and locked.  Our cats (minus one) were downstairs, along with their food & water bowls, and beds. Our neighbor had been given a set of keys, cat food and instructions (in Spanish), the day before. We were off for Guayaquil airport.

I will make the long and excruciating story short by saying, our neighbor Maria was worried after a day went by and she only saw three of our four cats.  I only gave her keys to the downstairs and the exterior gates. Luckily she knows our landlord. The house was opened. The wayward monster kitty was scared but okay...after making a mess that cannot be described.

In the future, I will never ignore my instincts - which told me to check the entire house for a "cat count" before we left.

One cool bag, one strange hat

On Pandora Radio, I am listening to: Madonna "Just Like a Prayer", which was released spring 1989. 

I do not even have to look up the year this song was released. I know the year because forever in my memory is my four year old daughter dancing and twirling around the house, with her hair brush microphone singing that very song.  She may not have known all the words.  She certainly did not know the MTV video that caused so much controversy.  All she knew was that she loved to sing and dance.  Especially when momma sang and danced with her.  Her momma loved that too.

People close to me know I love wearing scarves.  They are my favorite accessory.  I know every way to wrap, twist and tie them.  They seem to work for me.  In any season.  Any time of day.  What is not to love?! If it is raining - cover your head.  If it is cold - wrap around your shoulders.  Having a bad hair day or the wind is blowing - twist and tie around your hair. If you need a bit of color on a drab day - just pick one and go.  My daughter likes scarves too.  Although I think she is more of a hat person. She wears them well.

I do not see a many Ecuadorians wearing scarves in Crucita. No matter.  It is my thing. I do not feel the need to change that about myself.  Although I will say that I am now recognized by my fishing hat more than my scarves around here.  It is a simple tan cotton fishing hat. I have had it for nearly 15 years.  I wear it a lot.  I brought 6 scarves with me when we moved here.  I brought the hat at the last minute.

Two weeks ago I received all the confirmation I needed; in Crucita, I am recognized by that darn fishing hat.

The only ATM in Crucita

So here is what happened.

We needed cash to pay our utility bills and buy a few things from Frema's tienda.  Jason offered to walk to the ATM machine.  The ONLY ATM machine in Crucita. I do not try to use that machine any more.  It hates me. When I say it hates me, I mean that I cannot get it to work.  Jason has no problem with it.

The issue is that the machine "requires" your card (tarjeta) to have a chip in it.  Our Visa debit cards do not have chips.  Our bank and many others in the U.S. do not feel the need to put chips in their cards. I am sure it has something (everything) to do with the cost associated with updating software, and replacing machines.

When we first arrived in Crucita, we were told there was an ATM machine in our little fishing village. It is located at the COACMES building, which is a 10 minute walk from our house. The first time we tried to use it we realized that chip technology is alive and well in Ecuador. Good for banks and security. Bad for us. In order for us to use an ATM machine, we had to go to Portoviejo - 18 miles away.  There are ATM machines that will accept cards with or without a chip.

Bus ride to Portoviejo for cash.

We did this for 5 months.  Right up until April 15, 2016.  The day before the 7.8 Terremoto (earthquake) hit Ecuador.

Two weeks post earthquake, we were really in a difficult situation. No buses to Portoviejo. Even if there were buses running, it would not have mattered.  Most bank machines were not working. Most of the buildings that had ATM's were destroyed.  Portable ATM machines were set up, along with lines of people waiting hours to use them.

We mentioned our ATM predicament to a few of our friends and acquaintances here in Crucita and asked them what they thought we should do.  First they offered us money and asked if we needed food or water.  If we have not made this clear before, that is what it is like to be here in Crucita, Ecuador. People help each other. Not just in times of catastrophe - all the time.   No "once a year slogan" required.  A slogan that lost its true meaning so long ago, that everyone forgot.  I will let that one sit.  You will either get it or you won't.

We declined the kind offers of money and food.  We were not at that point yet.

We were told by two Ecuadorians and one Canadian friend that if you "keep trying", your chip-less card will eventually work in the Crucita ATM machine.

What?!

Stunned and with some amount of disbelief, we grabbed our cards and made the trek to COACMES (co-a-may). The Cooperativa building where the ATM machine is located.  Deep breath. Google Translate App open and ready on our cell phone.  The card slides into the machine.  It speaks to us in Spanish, telling us basically that the card will not work, and "please remove your card".   We remove the unacceptable card and slide it in again.  The machine speaks to us again. Please remove your unacceptable card.  We do.  But we try again; and again; and again.  After 15 or so tries, we see a different screen appear.  Press here for Espanol. Press here for English.  Woo Hoo!  English!!!  Please enter your PIN.  Those words never looked so good.  Please select Withdraw, Inquiry, Deposit.  Withdraw Withdraw Withdraw!!!!  Please select, Savings, Checking,....blah blah, whatever came after those selections I have no idea.  Savings please!!!  Enter the amount.  We enter 200.  We receive $200, in $10's and $20's.

Jason - Las Grietas, Galapagos Ecuador

Okay.  Back to my hat story.

As I said, two weeks ago Jason walked to COACMES, to withdraw cash.  He was gone a long time.  I knew this was not a good sign.  He returned about 45 minutes later with a look on his face that meant only one thing. The attempted transaction was not successful.  Two hundred tries not successful.

I asked him for my little blue zippered wallet that contained the bank card. He looked in his recently acquired bag from the Galapagos.  All Ecuadorian men carry these by the way.

No blue wallet.  He looked in his pockets.  No blue wallet.

My "wifey" panic sets in.  His calm standard response, "I know I have it; it's here somewhere".

Obviously NOT here somewhere, as my heart sinks, we make the trek together towards COACMES. We are now looking on both sides of the street, in the ditches, trash cans, etc.

I have already envisioned what must have happened.

On Pandora Radio: Adele "Set Fire to the Rain"

Sea Lions like the benches

After the absolute frustration of 200 attempts to make that card work in the ATM machine, Jason puts the near useless card into the little blue wallet belonging to his wife.  He then puts the wallet into his black bag that reads "Galapagos" on one side and "Ecuador" on the other. Walking away from the ATM machine, knowing that he and his wife will soon be on a bus to Portoviejo.

What really happened was he put the card into the blue wallet.  Then looking away he goes through the motion of putting the wallet into his bag and misses the bag completely.  The wallet falls to the ground in front of the ATM machine.  He walks home.

Fast forward.

We are nearing COACMES at break-neck speed.  I am wearing my tan fishing hat. I look up at a young man walking towards us. I recognize him.  He works at COACMES.  I know he recognizes me by that silly hat of mine.  Instead of the usual "buenos dias, or hola", he says, "tarjeta y bolsa azul". At the same time he is making the shape of a square with his hands.  He has just told us that they have our card at COACMES.

A bus ride to Portoviejo.

It would be the last bus ride with that debit card.  It expired September 1, 2016.  Where is my new card?  At my daughter's house in Jacksonville, Florida.  We are still working out the logistics of getting that card mailed to us from the United States.  That story to be continued in another blog.

La Ruta del Sol 

We have since retrieved our back-up card from our friend Tamy. She lives just outside of Portoviejo.  That card does not expire for another year.  We may only have one card, but at least we have a working card.

It is times like these that I feel more like a vagabond than an adventurer.  Maybe there really is not a difference. Its a good thing I have a lot of scarves and an awesome hat.

It seems to be the standard, basic apparel for backpackers, travelers and Europeans. We see a lot travelers who fit that description in Ecuador. Especially when we take trip on La Ruta del Sol (The Route of the Sun).  While we were in the Galapagos last month, I saw many more.  I fit right in. Minus the backpack.

Our move to Ecuador was my first real introduction to Hostels. They are everywhere. I knew what they were, but had never actually seen one.  In my ignorance, I assumed they only existed in Europe and used by teens and twenty-somethings who were trying to find themselves. I could not be more wrong. I cannot speak for other countries, but here, they are cheap, clean and a great way to save money on lodging while on your adventures. Regardless of your age.

I must admit that until a year ago, I owned a Frommer's Guide to Paris on $3 a day.

It was bought probably 30 years ago.  After time became dog eared, torn and revered with all the hope of a girl who thought she would get the chance to experience adventures.....one day.

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Tamera's Take: Whack-Bat, Cats and Legos

I am starting a little segment of our "What it Takes to Move to Ecuador" blog.
I am calling it Tamera's Take.
I am taking a chance anyone will read it, since tomorrow is Thanksgiving in the U.S.
That is a lot of takes.
It took a lot to get us here.
There is another take.

"Basically, there's three grabbers, three taggers, five twig runners, and a player at whack-bat.  Center tagger lights a pine cone and chucks it over the basket and the whack-batter tries to hit the cedar stick off the cross rock.  Then the twig runners dash back and forth until the pine cone burns out and the umpire calls hotbox.  Finally, you count up however many score-downs it adds up to and divide that by nine."

Getting confused?  Where does Whack-Bat fit in?  I just told you.  Exactly.  PLEASE stay with me just a LITTLE BIT longer.

East Mountain View

My segment is not about how we got here, or what it takes to get here, or what to do when you get here.

My husband Jason is already doing all of that in our Blog.  Our blog. To be honest, Jason does all the writing.

My capacity is Editor and Fact Checker. In that capacity, I am pretty good.

Tamera's Take is about being here.

Are you ready?  I am.




Where do we fit in?

I have asked myself that question many times in the five days since we arrived.  I am American.  That is what we do.  We try to fit in.  Somewhere.

But I am in Ecuador.  Crucita Ecuador to be exact.  A small fishing village on the Pacific coast of South America.

It sort of came to me last night when I was on our roof top terrace, taking in the 360 degree view.  The mountains to the north, east and south of us.  The ocean to the west.

West View Towards Pacific Ocean

In the middle of that view are houses and buildings of all different shapes and sizes.  Some are under construction.  Some appear to be under destruction.  Some seem content to wait.

Legos!

It reminded me of Legos.  Everyone has played with (or at least seen) Legos.

Little blocks of different colors, shapes and sizes.  But they all fit together.

That is the magic of Legos.  They do not have to be the same to fit together.

In fact, Legos only fit in because they are different.

CAT!!

So where do we fit in?

Right where we are.

HOTBOX!!

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What to Do, What to Do?

And what to do it with?  I can tell you what we have not done.  We have not done it since we left Jacksonville.  Check yourself here.  Just how mature ARE you? :-)

Our current movie.

We have not looked at, plugged in, turned on, or watched television.  We have a flat screen TV.  We have a DVD player.  We have Direct TV.  We do not know what channels we have.  We do not know if we have any English channels or if it is all  Latino programming.  I haven't watched American football or even thought about it until now.  OK, not true.  I see the sports stuff on Facebook.  I do not need scores there.


I just see the comments and it is almost as good as play by play.  Go Jaguars!  No movies either.

Anyone who knows us knows we are very serious about our movies.  At one point we had over 300 DVD's and Blue Ray's in our collection.  We had cable and Netflix too.  Those have all gone the way of the Dodo.  If you have not noticed, we spit out movie quotes as often as Eastwood spits out chaw.  Those of you anal-retentive enough to go to previous posts and scour for missed quotes, I salute you.

DDSF (DVD DNA Storage Facility) 

I have some movie DNA in my freezer so at some point I will John Hammond it and get my movies back.  I fear it will not be easy.  I have not seen an English language DVD here yet.  We didn't bring any either.  I'm sure they can be had and we'll find them but it will be a sad selection I think.  Doom on you, movie lover.

So what do we do?  Well, We walk.  We swim.  We attempt to speak Spanish.  We try to read and translate menus, flyers, and street signs without Google Translate.  I say "un poco de Espanol" a LOT.

We get up early without ever setting an alarm.  I can hear friends and family in JAX laughing very, very hard right now.  I ain't got no friends in 818 you say?  Not that would understand why they are laughing.  We clean our house every day.  Yes, we do Brad, yes we do.  We must do dishes and sweep daily regardless of maid service.

Remember it is an open house, except the bedrooms. Tiny sugar ants can be a problem if we do not.  We do laundry since we were finally able to figure out that machine. We try to figure out where to buy things we need.  We buy them.  Tamera works with our roses and other garden plants.  I blog, she blogs, we all blog.  We herd cats.

DDSF High Tech Thaw Mechanism

There is cooking involved.  At some point we will get around to talking about that, I'm sure.  We actually have very nice appliances including a gas stove.  No big deal that stove, huh? Maybe, but I love to cook and have wanted a gas stove for a long time.  We have a rice cooker which is cool.  Rice is important here.  Rice comes with almost everything and they know what to do with it in Ecuador. We've eaten rice every day.

We have the all important coffee maker, equally important blender, and a very nice refrigerator.  No dishwasher but with only 2 people that has not been a problem. There is a charcoal grill.  

Speaking of charcoal a quick side note: Apparently it is used here in the same way you might use baking soda in your refrigerator.  There is a small bowl of it in the back.  It takes out odors and I'll be damned if it does not work as well.

Mmmmm.

The people of Ecuador at least in our area, drink coffee. Instant coffee mostly. You're off the edge of the map mate.  Here there be monsters!  No, not really.  It is South America so perhaps you are surprised by that.  We were.  Think about it for a second.  These are mostly farmers and fishermen,  They work their butts off.  I think they rarely have time to brew, much less sit down and enjoy a good cup 'o Joe before work. When not working it is family and friends.  I don't know for sure yet.  But I think it.  Don't be dismayed.  The ground coffee is here and it is awesome.  The sugar unrefined (no need for Dixie Crystals here) and the herbs/spices are amazing.

Remember I told you we have a lot to learn?  Think I was right? It can be overwhelming at times.  Sometimes you don't know what's around the next corner.  It can be scary as hell.  I was scared out of my wits yesterday morning.  Remember we have a private courtyard.  No one in or out without a key.

Very secret, very safe.  Not.  I was up at 7:00 and came down to make coffee.  I heard a sound in the breezeway.  It sounded like someone futzing around and coughing.  "Great," I think, "confrontation with a tresspasser".  Me.  Me, who hath no Espanol skills, no nunchuk skills, no ninja skills, and no bow staff in sight.  *Sigh*  Just li'l old me. I'm ready.  I can do this.  Walk around the corner man, DO IT!

RCH (Robot Chicken from Hell).

Gotta grill right there for ya RCH! 

This little guy right here.  Not so little this robot chicken (I know it is a rooster, OK?) from hell.  Tamera was laughing, I was laughing.  Tamera ran it off.  I think he was afraid I was gonna cook him up. Barbecue, me and you, stinky, stinky, pew, pew.  She will never know.

Sorry.  Had to get in one last quote.  I'M NOT SORRY! Adios!


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Odds and Ends

Pacific morning surf.

We decided to walk to the end of Calle Malecon in North Crucita.  You can take a cab or scooter taxi for less than $1 but you can also walk from one end of Crucita to the other in about 30 minutes.  It was a little overcast (we are coming into the rainy season) but the surf was nice and the beach was beautiful.  So far I have noticed the mornings have been generally overcast but by noon the sun comes out. The energy from Sol kicks up the breeze and surf.

Hand fisherman in Crucita, Ecuador

We saw a couple of guys near the north fish market doing some surf fishing.  One was fishing with rod and reel which I have seen none of from the beach. I'm really pretty happy about because I dig surf fishing. I was not sure there was anything fun or edible to catch that way.

The other was also fishing but by hand.  He had regular line and tackle but no reel.  He was using his left hand as the spool and wrapping line with his right.  Considering the size of the fish at market I figure he has a limited life span on his fingers.   I have met my fisherman neighbor and his wife but I can't speak enough Spanish to be safe and productive fishing with him.  The invitation is there though.  His wife is also considered one of the better for hire cooks in the area.  She will come cook and teach us while she does it.  That, my friends is going to be stellar.

Poor Puffer!

Anyway, we stood there and watched them fish for awhile.  The gentleman with the rod and reel seemed to be having a hard time.  By now the surf was pretty rough so maybe he did not have enough weight.  The hand fisherman was out there up to his waist.  No small feat because the surf had really come up and trust me, it can get you off your feet quickly if you do not watch out.  He caught this while we were watching.


On the way back we thought we would walk along Calle Malecon and see what was going on.  It looks like  lot of development is starting to happen there.  Actually it is starting everywhere.  We saw some very large homes under construction.  There are many buildings for sale one the beachfront.  There are also many single family homes condos like these for rent.

New condo construction.

I was surprised because we looked on the internet for a good long time and found little.  I guess it goes back to what I said in an earlier post.  Ecuadorians generally don't use the internet much.

There are a lot of empty homes around as well.  Most are beach homes owned by families inland.  In January they come to the beach as it their summer time.



We can already see the cleaning ladies cleaning some of the homes around us in preparation for the season.  It looks like we're in for a pretty big season of fiestas, beachfront roca or rock shows and of course, carnival.  I've been warned they squirt water at you and some even throw eggs and such from their cars.  Tamera and I will stock up on beer and missiles.  We have a pretty good vantage point from our terrace and I think we can give as good as we get.  Tomorrow I think Tamera is going begin writing from her perspective.  Also, I might just tell you about the chicken. Dog!  Hey dog!  Did you see the size of that chicken?  Yeah, I'm old.  Adios!

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It Ain't All Poached Eggs and Rubies

COMING SOON:  Tamera's Take- Snapshots of life in Ecuador from Tamera's point of view.

Well, it ain't.  I'd love to sit here typing marvelous stories while burying my head in the sand but that's hardly fair.  It isn't right.  I won't lie either.  I've read many other blogs about Ecuador and everyone has at least one post like this.  Some stories aren't great at all.

Think for a minute about your local news you read or watched last week.  You kind of put the bad stuff in the back of your mind right?  Try not to think about it?  It's OK because that's how everyone gets through the day.  I just want to give you some perspective.  No place is perfect.  You are always in some form of danger, there is always a neighbor you don't get along with, someone always throws their trash out the car window, someone is always a jerk to you whether they know it or not, and everybody does something really stupid by or to their own selves every day.  Get your mind around that if you will because it's also not right to ignore your own backyard's problems while thinking "See?  I knew it was bad there!".  

You're in familiar surroundings; your comfort zone if you will.  We're well out of ours and that is exactly what we wanted.  Paradise has plenty of challenges, frustrations, and yes, some danger.

Habla Espanol?  Nope.  OK, a little.  My wife is much more knowledgeable.  Right now, she does most of the talking while I stand there with a silly grin on my face.  I am actually learning faster than I thought.  We have Rosetta Stone and it is a great help.  Actual lessons may be in order but the best thing is to get your face in there.  Try and try again.  I bring it up first because for me, it is the biggest challenge I face daily.  Sometimes I don't want to leave my little courtyard because I don't like seeing myself as ignorant every freaking day.  I also don't want to upset or insult the native residents.

And then there's this:

Our brand new LG washing machine.  It's mac daddy.  I could tell because it looked like it came out of the new Star Wars movie.  It took 10 minutes to get our first load of laundry going today.  We figured it out of course but boy, did I feel dumb.  There's quite a bit of this type of thing.  Different stores to pay the electric, water, WI-FI, and DTV.  All have different due dates and account numbers.   Hard to get straight and pay when you don't know how to say it.

Where is the support?  The safety net?  Friends and family aren't right there if you want or need them.  Facebook helps.  You'll need an unlocked smartphone, WI-FI with Skype capability, or Skype credit to talk with them.  Still, they aren't there.  You will have local friends but it's a little tough in the beginning.

Garbage can be an issue.  A friend once told me, "It's a third world country man".  He's right.  It is. I've seen worse in America.  Here, they pick up garbage from your front gate three times a week. The shop and street vendors clean the streets and walks every morning.  Sounds great and it IS great but-

Street Trash

Our house is off the main beach road, Calle Malecon.  The entrances are off other streets that Americans would think of as alleys.  We are in a good area of Crucita with lots of cantinas, restaurants and shops.  At night Calle Malecon is jumping.  Lots of locals and tourists doing what people do.  You see, most don't work Sundays as they are primarily Catholic.  No one really cleans up from Saturday night.  On Sundays it's church and then beach.  There are no trash collection cans on the beach.  Early Monday morning isn't pretty.  However, go back late Monday morning and everything is spic and span again.

One of Our "Alleys".

Sometimes people do what they do in the alleys.  There are a few reasons I think.  Some are drunk of course.  Some can't find a bathroom.  Some don't look for a bathroom.  Not because they don't want one but because there aren't many public bathrooms period. Even if you find one you may not dare use it.

Public Bathroom

The dogs that run around free, and there are a lot, won't use them either.  Add feral cats, chickens, and fishing nets.  Stir.  First thing in the morning the walk down the alley can be a bit ripe, especially after the weekend.

Also, it is a fishing village. Sometimes it smells like fish.  Imagine that.  Good news though.  Not for long.  We're on the Pacific.  The smell never, ever permeates our house.  The breeze gets rid of it.  At lunch time all you can smell is food.

There is crime here though we've experienced none.  No violent crime, at least not often.  Apparently, you have to watch out for the guys on enduro motorcycles with no tags.  They like to ride by and snatch purses, smart phones, or whatever else they can easily grab and run.  This is easiest to deal with.  Watch your stuff.  You do anyway right?

I saved the worst for last.  I just don't like thinking about it.  I haven't mentioned this but the people of Ecuador are generally shorter than Americans.  "So?" you ask?  So, I'm 5' 10".  A guy of medium height.  What am I supposed to do about this?

Small beds!

OK, not really a problem for my wife and I but if you're 6' tall?  Taller even?  The counters are shorter here too.  Cooking and cleaning the kitchen can be murder on your back.

Not what you expected maybe?  Well, we haven't been here long.  We haven't been kidnapped, killed, or experienced racism.  I suppose any of those things could happen but we keep a weather eye.  If they do I'll blog about it.  Get some pictures too.

There are other things too but who cares, really?  We can't change them.  Don't want to change them.  Americans wouldn't tolerate someone coming into our country and telling us how to run it.  Rightfully so.

Maybe the most important thing is we love it here.  It is probably not for everyone.  At least not forever.  We wanted adventure and got it.


As I type this I see our first humming bird at the Aloe plant's bloom.

My wife is returning through the gate from Calle Malecon where she met the cerveza truck. It comes Mondays and Thursdays.  They refill the $1.50 bottles for $0.90.

Love and Cerveza!

Welcome home te amo.  Adios amigos!

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Paperwork and then- More Paperwork!

You guessed it.  Lots of paperwork.  We thought we had found out everything we needed to know.  We organized around the infamous "to do" list.  We bought our airline tickets in advance to save a few dollars.  We saved nothing. We had to change our flight.  Thank heaven for my wife.  Without her skills I would have been at sea.  In fact we both still were but she kept an even keel (mostly).  This may seem daunting but I promise you, it is worth it.

So, we came from Florida. Seems a bit irrelevant I know but, things will vary depending on your State.  Also, we are here on retirement income.  There are different VISA's depending on your situation.  Find an immigration attorney!  It is inexpensive and while not completely necessary, will save you from a nervous breakdown in the long run.  We found one in Ecuador who told us everything we needed based on our status, provides document translation services, provides transportation everywhere we need to go, and obtains our Cedulas (Ecuador's form of identification).  Laws change.  You need that expertise.  Most importantly, you need peace of mind.

I have some advice on the following section; call and ask questions.  Confirm everything twice and then again.  Please do not assume anything.  What I type here may have changed since I posted it.  There are a lot of blogs with great information out there but check the dates.  If you are reading this a year from today (11/22/2015) things have probably changed.  Information can be had with a phone call.

USA pricing and process will vary slightly depending on State.  There are different Provinces in Ecuador and I suppose it is possible these vary here too.  Really, find an immigration attorney!  For the two of us the cost was $2,200.00 USD.  That included all VISA and attorney fees, transportation, translation, and Cedulas.  Everything.

To get your documents the BVS (Bureau of Vital Statistics) is your best friend in the States.  One visit should do it.  If you were born in a different State get some stamps.  USPS (United States Postal Service) is also your friend.  I should not think you will spend more than $15.00 for each new document.  Make sure you tell them why you need these documents and that they are going to be apostilled.  We found there are different types of the same documents. Only one type can be apostilled!    

Just about everything must be also apostilled by your State in order to obtain your VISA.  Once you receive your documents you will need to send them to your Department of State to have this done. Self addressed, stamped envelopes (lots) are required as well as certified check or money orders for each request.  You will have to check your State's website for addresses and costs.  Apostilles cost us $10.00 per document.  We found the process time consuming but relatively easy.  Here is what we needed:

UPDATE 09/26/2016:  FBI Background Checks MUST be apostilled.

• Birth Certificate - If the one you have is over 12 months old it is too old.  You must have one issued within the past 12 months in order for the State to apostille it.  If you are from a different State than the one you reside in now you can request the certificate and apostille at the same time.  You will still need to provide separate self addressed stamped envelopes and certified checks.  BVS! 
• Marriage License - You need a special certificate from the BVS
• Final Judgement/Dissolution of Marriage (if applicable) - Not the court document.  Again, a special document from the BVS.
• (Insert your State's Name Here) Department of Law Enforcement Background Check - No BVS here.  Call the relevant department in your State to find process/pricing.  We had to pay by certified check and send them a form we downloaded from the FDLE website.  Florida's cost was $24.00 per background check.  Unbelievably, NO self addressed stamped envelope was required.
• FBI National Background Check - We called the FBI and requested fingerprint cards (no charge).  They came in the mail within a few days.  We took the cards to a local police station where they performed and certified the fingerprinting (nominal cost).  We then sent the cards to the FBI with certified check and self addressed stamped envelopes for processing.  $18.00 per request.  Update: 14-18 week turnaround.  You CANNOT use Livescan for this process. Update: When you request the FBI background check, you must request it to be "authenticated for Apostille in [insert name of country]".  You must type or write this at the bottom of the FBI Information Application form. When you receive your FBI results, you must then send them to the U.S. Department of State. 
• Additional vaccinations were not required at our time of travel.  Check with the CDC (Center for Disease Control) before you go.  If special vaccinations are required, you have more paperwork to do and additional costs!  I personally believe Hepatitis A and Typhoid vaccinations are good ideas as they can be transmitted VIA food but it's your choice.  The CDC recommends these two vaccinations, but again they are not required.
• Passports - Passport form, Birth Certificate and State ID required.  We had our photos taken at Walgreens for $5.00 (also required but you can also get them done at the USPS.  Make appointment!).  Obtain passports from the USPS.  Download your forms, check your fees and requirements.

         This was the easiest process by far and we had them within 3 weeks.  We got both the 

         cards and books but only the books are required.

Well, I think that's enough "work" for today.  Sol is shining. Waves and cervezas are calling.  I think I'll talk about pets next time although I'm working in no particular order.  Maybe I will explain why next time. Adios!

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