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Showing posts with label terremoto. Show all posts
Showing posts with label terremoto. Show all posts

Monday, September 12, 2016

Tamera's Take: Scarves, Cats & Nomads

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Tamera's Take is about being here.
Are you ready?  I am.

Before I begin, I need to say that it was a compliment that my husband borrowed my signature tag line, "are you ready", in his last post.

So we move forward.  Now I have borrowed his.

Las Grietas, Isla Santa Cruz, Galapagos
It is 9:30 am Ecuador time.  That's UTC-5:00 for you international readers.  In Jacksonville Florida it is 10:30 am.  When Daylight Savings Time comes around on Sunday, November 6, 2016 at 2:00 am, Crucita and Jacksonville will be on the same time.

It makes me feel a little closer to my loved ones back home.

What does "trouble maker" mean?
As you have read in my husband's recent blogs, some of our loved ones visited us in August. During their 10 day visit, we were treated to a trip to the Galapagos Islands for four days. Aside from a few minor stomach issues and some clouds, our time in the Galapagos was amazing. Upon returning to our house in Crucita we were greeted by our four cats and a not so fantastic story from our neighbor who was caring for them while we were gone.  Apparently one of the little darlings decided to hide in one of the guest bedrooms (upstairs) while we were loading our luggage into the truck at 3:30 am. At 4:00 am, the upstairs rooms were closed and locked.  Our cats (minus one) were downstairs, along with their food & water bowls, and beds. Our neighbor had been given a set of keys, cat food and instructions (in Spanish), the day before. We were off for Guayaquil airport.

I will make the long and excruciating story short by saying, our neighbor Maria was worried after a day went by and she only saw three of our four cats.  I only gave her keys to the downstairs and the exterior gates. Luckily she knows our landlord. The house was opened. The wayward monster kitty was scared but okay...after making a mess that cannot be described.

In the future, I will never ignore my instincts - which told me to check the entire house for a "cat count" before we left.

One cool bag, one strange hat
On Pandora Radio, I am listening to: Madonna "Just Like a Prayer", which was released spring 1989. 

I do not even have to look up the year this song was released. I know the year because forever in my memory is my four year old daughter dancing and twirling around the house, with her hair brush microphone singing that very song.  She may not have known all the words.  She certainly did not know the MTV video that caused so much controversy.  All she knew was that she loved to sing and dance.  Especially when momma sang and danced with her.  Her momma loved that too.

People close to me know I love wearing scarves.  They are my favorite accessory.  I know every way to wrap, twist and tie them.  They seem to work for me.  In any season.  Any time of day.  What is not to love?! If it is raining - cover your head.  If it is cold - wrap around your shoulders.  Having a bad hair day or the wind is blowing - twist and tie around your hair. If you need a bit of color on a drab day - just pick one and go.  My daughter likes scarves too.  Although I think she is more of a hat person. She wears them well.

I do not see a many Ecuadorians wearing scarves in Crucita. No matter.  It is my thing. I do not feel the need to change that about myself.  Although I will say that I am now recognized by my fishing hat more than my scarves around here.  It is a simple tan cotton fishing hat. I have had it for nearly 15 years.  I wear it a lot.  I brought 6 scarves with me when we moved here.  I brought the hat at the last minute.

Two weeks ago I received all the confirmation I needed; in Crucita, I am recognized by that darn fishing hat.
The only ATM in Crucita

So here is what happened.

We needed cash to pay our utility bills and buy a few things from Frema's tienda.  Jason offered to walk to the ATM machine.  The ONLY ATM machine in Crucita. I do not try to use that machine any more.  It hates me. When I say it hates me, I mean that I cannot get it to work.  Jason has no problem with it.

The issue is that the machine "requires" your card (tarjeta) to have a chip in it.  Our Visa debit cards do not have chips.  Our bank and many others in the U.S. do not feel the need to put chips in their cards. I am sure it has something (everything) to do with the cost associated with updating software, and replacing machines.

When we first arrived in Crucita, we were told there was an ATM machine in our little fishing village. It is located at the COACMES building, which is a 10 minute walk from our house. The first time we tried to use it we realized that chip technology is alive and well in Ecuador. Good for banks and security. Bad for us. In order for us to use an ATM machine, we had to go to Portoviejo - 18 miles away.  There are ATM machines that will accept cards with or without a chip.

Bus ride to Portoviejo for cash.

We did this for 5 months.  Right up until April 15, 2016.  The day before the 7.8 Terremoto (earthquake) hit Ecuador.

Two weeks post earthquake, we were really in a difficult situation. No buses to Portoviejo. Even if there were buses running, it would not have mattered.  Most bank machines were not working. Most of the buildings that had ATM's were destroyed.  Portable ATM machines were set up, along with lines of people waiting hours to use them.

We mentioned our ATM predicament to a few of our friends and acquaintances here in Crucita and asked them what they thought we should do.  First they offered us money and asked if we needed food or water.  If we have not made this clear before, that is what it is like to be here in Crucita, Ecuador. People help each other. Not just in times of catastrophe - all the time.   No "once a year slogan" required.  A slogan that lost its true meaning so long ago, that everyone forgot.  I will let that one sit.  You will either get it or you won't.

We declined the kind offers of money and food.  We were not at that point yet.

We were told by two Ecuadorians and one Canadian friend that if you "keep trying", your chip-less card will eventually work in the Crucita ATM machine.

What?!

Stunned and with some amount of disbelief, we grabbed our cards and made the trek to COACMES (co-a-may). The Cooperativa building where the ATM machine is located.  Deep breath. Google Translate App open and ready on our cell phone.  The card slides into the machine.  It speaks to us in Spanish, telling us basically that the card will not work, and "please remove your card".   We remove the unacceptable card and slide it in again.  The machine speaks to us again. Please remove your unacceptable card.  We do.  But we try again; and again; and again.  After 15 or so tries, we see a different screen appear.  Press here for Espanol. Press here for English.  Woo Hoo!  English!!!  Please enter your PIN.  Those words never looked so good.  Please select Withdraw, Inquiry, Deposit.  Withdraw Withdraw Withdraw!!!!  Please select, Savings, Checking,....blah blah, whatever came after those selections I have no idea.  Savings please!!!  Enter the amount.  We enter 200.  We receive $200, in $10's and $20's.

Jason - Las Grietas, Galapagos Ecuador
Okay.  Back to my hat story.

As I said, two weeks ago Jason walked to COACMES, to withdraw cash.  He was gone a long time.  I knew this was not a good sign.  He returned about 45 minutes later with a look on his face that meant only one thing. The attempted transaction was not successful.  Two hundred tries not successful.

I asked him for my little blue zippered wallet that contained the bank card. He looked in his recently acquired bag from the Galapagos.  All Ecuadorian men carry these by the way.

No blue wallet.  He looked in his pockets.  No blue wallet.

My "wifey" panic sets in.  His calm standard response, "I know I have it; it's here somewhere".

Obviously NOT here somewhere, as my heart sinks, we make the trek together towards COACMES. We are now looking on both sides of the street, in the ditches, trash cans, etc.

I have already envisioned what must have happened.

On Pandora Radio: Adele "Set Fire to the Rain"


Sea Lions like the benches
After the absolute frustration of 200 attempts to make that card work in the ATM machine, Jason puts the near useless card into the little blue wallet belonging to his wife.  He then puts the wallet into his black bag that reads "Galapagos" on one side and "Ecuador" on the other. Walking away from the ATM machine, knowing that he and his wife will soon be on a bus to Portoviejo.

What really happened was he put the card into the blue wallet.  Then looking away he goes through the motion of putting the wallet into his bag and misses the bag completely.  The wallet falls to the ground in front of the ATM machine.  He walks home.

Fast forward.

We are nearing COACMES at break-neck speed.  I am wearing my tan fishing hat. I look up at a young man walking towards us. I recognize him.  He works at COACMES.  I know he recognizes me by that silly hat of mine.  Instead of the usual "buenos dias, or hola", he says, "tarjeta y bolsa azul". At the same time he is making the shape of a square with his hands.  He has just told us that they have our card at COACMES.

A bus ride to Portoviejo.

It would be the last bus ride with that debit card.  It expired September 1, 2016.  Where is my new card?  At my daughter's house in Jacksonville, Florida.  We are still working out the logistics of getting that card mailed to us from the United States.  That story to be continued in another blog.

La Ruta del Sol 
We have since retrieved our back-up card from our friend Tamy. She lives just outside of Portoviejo.  That card does not expire for another year.  We may only have one card, but at least we have a working card.

It is times like these that I feel more like a vagabond than an adventurer.  Maybe there really is not a difference. Its a good thing I have a lot of scarves and an awesome hat.

It seems to be the standard, basic apparel for backpackers, travelers and Europeans. We see a lot travelers who fit that description in Ecuador. Especially when we take trip on La Ruta del Sol (The Route of the Sun).  While we were in the Galapagos last month, I saw many more.  I fit right in. Minus the backpack.

Our move to Ecuador was my first real introduction to Hostels. They are everywhere. I knew what they were, but had never actually seen one.  In my ignorance, I assumed they only existed in Europe and used by teens and twenty-somethings who were trying to find themselves. I could not be more wrong. I cannot speak for other countries, but here, they are cheap, clean and a great way to save money on lodging while on your adventures. Regardless of your age.


I must admit that until a year ago, I owned a Frommer's Guide to Paris on $3 a day.

It was bought probably 30 years ago.  After time became dog eared, torn and revered with all the hope of a girl who thought she would get the chance to experience adventures.....one day.

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Sunday, July 17, 2016

Tamera's Take: P.T.S.D., CATS, and What the hell am I doing in Crucita Ecuador?

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Tamera's Take is about being here.
Are you ready?  I am.

...going to have to get back to you on that one.

The gully gave way behind the once beautiful house.

It has been about two months since our last post.  Well, my husband's last post. I started this one on June 17, and obviously was not able to finish it. Today is July 17.  I do not know what to say except that since April 16, 2016, I have no idea what I am doing anymore.

On Pandora Radio listening to: "Under Pressure" by Queen (with a little help from David Bowie)

The song seems appropriate.


Too damaged to pass inspection. It will be torn down.
Of course I am talking about since the earthquake.  I cannot even say the "E" word without feeling nausea.  That would be the "T" word in Spanish.  Terremoto

We will just call it, IT.  If you read Stephen King, you will know that IT is just as terrifying.

The first two weeks after it happened I felt a certain amount of shock was normal.  Expected even.  I did my best to keep the shock in check.

Try to be normal.  Try to move forward.  I said these things to myself every day.  I told myself everything was going to be okay.

A month after it happened, I noticed my "shock", or whatever it was, was not subsiding.  The day I started writing this post marked two months.  Yup still there. Somewhere in the back of my mind I kept thinking ever so briefly, "PTSD".  I associated PTSD with soldiers returning from battle; victims of violent crimes; children dealing with death in the family; etc.  So that cannot be what it going on with me.

Remains of beautiful blue windows from nearby house.

I am acquainted with a few counselors, therapists and psychiatrists, both socially and professionally. I used to work at a women's center, which is how I became acquainted socially with several counselors. But here is the thing about that line of work.  Two words.  "Absolute Confidentiality".  They never discussed clients, and I never asked.  So I do not know a lot about the various types of mental illness and how they are diagnosed.

A long time passed before we could walk the beach again.
I know they exist. I know some can be treated; some can only be managed.  I do not think any can be completely cured. I say this from years of personal experience.  I will not say who, when, where, or how I know them personally.  It is confidential, and let's leave it at that.

I finally contacted one of my counselor friends.  P.T.S.D. (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). Right on the mark.  Damn.

She helped me as much as she could given my location.  Actually she helped me a lot.  She researched and sent me information on free online books about P.T.S.D, online support groups and therapists, etc.  There are even support groups that you can Skype with.

Everyone knows at least one person who suffers from a mental illness. It is an illness that is hard to understand if you have never walked in those shoes.  It is not something people like to talk about.  If you have a broken leg, it is visual.  The pain is something people can relate to.  If you say, oh by the way I suffer from, (fill in the blank), people do not know how to respond or act towards you.  Yet the person with the mental illness is in pain and suffering just as much as the person with the broken leg. Just think about it the next time you meet someone who has Depression, Anxiety Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, P.T.S.D., or any other form of mental illness.

Looking down from the hillside to Crucita

As an extremely introverted person, I analyze everything. Always have.  Always will.  I know I am getting slightly off topic but it seems important for you to know that I thought about the changes in my behavior for the past couple of months.

What were some of those changes?

Crucita fishing boat waiting to go back out to sea.

Separately, they seemed insignificant at first.  However, the more of them I recognized, the more they seemed to start sticking together and forming a black hole in my mind. It was like pieces of me were disappearing.  I am sure I sound crazy at this point, so here are some specific examples.

I started to forget details and events completely.  No recollection at all.

Following a major earthquake, aftershocks are normal for two to three months. I had to look this up. I have no prior experience with earthquakes so I did a lot of research.  It was necessary in order to get through the days (and nights). But I was not able to look any of this up the first week after it happened.  Yes, we had intermittent electricity starting around day 3, but we did not have WiFi for a week.


We live near the ocean. Every time the wind blows, the doors and windows rattle, and I jump out of my skin. Why? Because it sounds and feels like the beginning of an aftershock.

Those aftershocks came.  I read the other day that Ecuador has had over 2,000 aftershocks since April 16.  The aftershocks that I only vaguely remember learning about in school. The only reason I remember the first week of aftershocks we experienced, is because every time one happened, I wrote it down in one of my notebooks.  I had no idea of the measured intensity, since I had no access to any outside communication.  All I could do was write down the time and describe them.  I am not even sure why I was doing this, except that I thought that if there was some pattern, I would see it and know if they were going away or getting worse.

If "worse" then we had to be prepared to leave; even if on foot.  We would not leave the cats. The two Sherpa cat carriers we used to bring our poor cats from Florida to Ecuador, were waiting by the door. I am sure the cats would rather take their chances than get in those carriers again, but in those carriers they would go. We would not be able to bring much else with us. Some dry food, water, change of clothes, hats, sunscreen, Off, sanitizing gel, candles, matches, cash, passports.  I had filled our beach bag with items that we thought were critical if we had to flee.  There was no pattern to those aftershocks.

Every day ready to flee.

Nightmares.  I did not really dream about the earthquake.  I dreamed about tsunamis.  Almost every day.  I still do occasionally.  Thankfully the dreams are getting better.

How does that tsunami dream look?  I am on the third or fourth floor of a building, standing in front of a large window that overlooks the ocean.  I am sure this building represents my house but looks nothing like it.  It is night as I stand in front of this window.  But darkness does not stop me from seeing the wall of ocean water coming towards me.  It is taller than the place I am standing. I do not move.  I do not yell.  I know it is coming and there is nothing I can do.  That is my nightmare.

It is important to say that during this earthquake, we were never in danger of a tsunami.  I do not know why that became my nightmare.


I will speed through some of the other "symptoms" I experienced.

No desire to take walks anymore.
No desire to touch the ocean.
I stopped taking photos.
I forgot nearly every Spanish word I knew.

Every family member and friend wanted to ask me questions and talk about the earthquake.  I did NOT want to talk about it.  At all.  Ever.  But they wanted and needed information.  So with my head spinning, I talked.

I wanted to do things to help other people here in my village or nearby, but I had absolutely no way to do so.  I felt helpless.  I felt even more guilty.  I felt guilty that I was alive and my home survived.


My husband got an Earthquake App for his phone. It sends out an alert of earthquakes/aftershocks in real-time.  So basically an alarm goes off as it happens.  I hate that app.  Every time the alarm went off I went numb.  Every time there was a notification, my husband had to say it out loud.  I finally asked him to stop telling me.  I just could not take it any more.

Sleep is a thing of the past. Before the earthquake I was in bed and asleep early every night.  I woke up between 5:30 - 6:30 am every day.  Now sleep comes as the sun rises if I am lucky.  Am I just afraid to sleep in the dark?  I do not know.  Am I ever going to feel happy again?  I do not know that either. But I hope so.

It is amazing how things can change 180 degrees in the matter of 58 seconds.  That is how long the earthquake lasted, 58 seconds.

Everyone back in the States asks us when are we coming home.  Our response - we are home.  But I would be lying if I did not admit that I miss those familiar people and places back in America.

Gertrude Stein, an American writer, poet, feminist, and playwright once wrote, "America is my country and Paris is my home town".

America is and always will be my country. I have called many places home in my life. Orange Park Florida, Newport Rhode Island, Elmira New York, Tallahassee Florida, Hollywood Florida, Gadsden Alabama, Atlanta Georgia, Jacksonville Florida.

Right now Crucita is my home.  If I am lucky, I will have the chance to call other places home as well.

I have no idea of what the future will look like.  I know what I want it to look like. But that is going to take some time and a lot of adjusting.  Until then, I am just waiting for my compass to point north again.

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Friday, April 29, 2016

Tamera's Take: Terremoto, Did you know this could happen? And...The Truth.

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Tamera's Take is about being here.
Are you ready?  I am.

I am?

This is a question that I have been asked, and I have asked myself, many times since our arrival in Crucita Ecuador.

Along with;

Is it everything you thought it would be?

And most recently;

Did you know this could happen? 

To these questions I always answer the truth, regardless of who is asking.

For the past 12 days I struggled with the truth.  What is the struggle?  The struggle is that I am caught between the need to tell the truth; the need to not terrify our family and friends any more than they have already been terrified; the need to be respectful of the people who are probably in the worst situation of their life; and my own belief of what is the truth.

So here are some truths:

If you have not read any of my previous entries, this would normally be the place where I talk about something that happened to me in my childhood.  I try to tie it into whatever my point is for that blog, and then add a few pictures to keep it interesting.  Props.  That is what I do.  I use props.  It seems necessary because I am not a writer. My husband is the writer.

There will be no correlation between my youth and present day events.  There will be no cute pictures of cats. Strangely, I struggle with that too.

I am writing as much for me, as I am for you.

Hopefully this will not take me days to finish, but it could. (It did. I started two days ago.) There are moments when the past 12 days are so clear, that I can still feel the tremors.  There are moments when my mind is viewing the past 12 days through a mud splattered pane of glass.

Since the earthquake (terremoto) occurred, I felt every emotion humanly possible.

Each time that we were faced with something that we were not sure how to handle, I had to force myself to remain calm.

The phrase, "remember to be thankful for what you have, because someone else may have it worse than you", could not have been more true.  Except that I did not feel thankful.

It is important to not just remember, but know that 600+ people lost their lives; 12,000+ people were injured; 26,000+ people are homeless and slept in the streets until shelters could be erected.

What I felt was guilty.  Guilty that I reside in town that was left standing, while to north, east and south of me lies complete destruction and tragedy. Guilty that the only person from Crucita who died as a result of the earthquake, lived about 200 yards from me, and I never met her.  Guilty that we are okay due to the help of a lot of Ecuadorians, yet we are unable to do anything to help others in need.

That kind of emotion is not any good to me or others.  I know it.

I have to live with the fact that as much as I want to, I cannot help anyone. We do not have a vehicle to pick up or deliver donations. We do not speak or understand enough Spanish to communicate with people. A lot of aid has come into the country and the people of Ecuador are moving forward. Help is needed. Just not MY help. A tough reality to face.

Tomorrow will mark two weeks since the earthquake hit. Maybe two weeks is the magic number to start feeling normal.

I cannot say for others but it seems to be for me. Not that things are normal. They are not. But life is starting to feel normal again.

There is a tiny vacant lot in between our house and the tienda (Frema's) where we shop. We walked through the lot this morning and for the first time in two weeks I actually felt like taking pictures. I included a few in this post.

Yes. I am feeling normal again.

Did I know this could happen?  Yes.

Did I think it would happen?  Of course not.

That is the truth.

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©2016 TJ & Tamera Overman, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ReUse by permission only.