International Traveler - Tom Tuttle from Tacoma, Washington

!Bienvenidos Venezuela!

Or London, Madrid, Athens, Berlin, Rome, Paris, Dhaka, Tokyo, Beijing, Sydney, Cape town, Olso, Moscow, or Warsaw, take your pick.  Travel to or from any of them and the actual trip can be the best experience, mediocre experience, or most horrible experience you can imagine.  Many of you are experienced travelers.  Many are not.  Tamera and I are,  We have traveled internationally although we are not in my opinion, world travelers.  When we travel to Europe or Japan and back then yes,

Before I go on, many of the photographs are stock.  Taken from the internet and not in person.  We were too busy.  Apologies.  That is not generally the case for us.  We'll do better as we learn. Now-

Gray's Papaya. Now I want two,  Red onion sauce baby.  

We have visited numerous cities and sites. on two continents.  All have been American in one form or another.  North America, Central America (not a continent), South America.  You get the picture.  With the exception of the occasional Caribbean Island and Texas (just kidding uncle!) that is it.  We both love to travel.  We like seeing the stuff no one else wants to see.  My wife went to New York City and spent a lot of time in Queens.  I went to New York City and did not see the Statue of Liberty, the Cloisters, or the Brooklyn Bridge. By choice.  I went to Ray's Pizza (both the good one and the bad) and Gray's Papaya.  I went to Han Bat.  Excellent, non-Americanized Korean food.  We went to Salt Lake City.

We like the people.  We don't mind putting ourselves out there a little bit.  We want our experiences on a personal level.  With the locals and not all the other tourists.  If you do that, you make friends and you get to see things no one else gets let in on.  Like a roadside stand made of rough logs that sells fruit salad. So, it should come as no surprise that when we decided to move, we chose a small fishing village as our destination.  Getting here, now that is a different animal altogether.

MIA. and American Airlines.  Great service!

Right off, we moved here directly.  No scouting trips, no visits.  I don't recommend it.  I mentioned before we sold or gave away everything.  We came with our clothes, towels (the towels in Ecuador just aren't big or fluffy) and pets (who are big and fluffy).  Our travel experience was like few others.  The obstacles in our path were unusual.  We almost did not seek the treasure because of those obstacles.

The pets were one obstacle.  If you have pets and are seriously considering the move here (or anywhere really) you need to read that post.  Four cats and rules we didn't find on the internet caused us some issues.


Required VISA paperwork in the form of FBI background checks was another obstacle.  We finally had to leave without them and are still awaiting their delivery.

We had to change airline reservations to the tune of $400 in fees.  Yet another obstacle.

On to the trip.  To begin with, a car rental company called Avis, that does not know its own policies and considers that your problem, was another obstacle.  I am going to say this one time and then let it be.  I have used Avis before.  Quite a bit actually and for business mostly.  Good experiences all until I needed them most.  We made our reservation weeks in advance.  They made a mistake.  They even admitted it but they penalized us for it anyway.  This was just 14 hours before we had to drive to Miami.  It almost cost us everything.  They could not have cared less.  They apologized.  No more.  They did not refund our money immediately though they said they would.  We had no car.  We had to dispute it with our credit card company, Capital One.  They were great.  We were able to get another car at the eleventh hour with help from family, through Enterprise.  They stayed on so we could get the car.  We later sent Avis a detailed e-mail. They responded they were sorry.  It came from customer service rather than a manager. Appalling.  There is more to it.  A lot more but I am done with it and them.  That was our last experience with Avis.  You however, need to make your own decisions.

Luggage is bayud, hmmmkaaay?

Me, my wife, four cats, two hundred pounds of check in luggage and four carry on bags (two containing cats) are driving down I-95 in a rental car.  No, this is not the beginning of a joke though I am currently working something up.  We have calming treats/spray and a portable litter box for our cats.  We have a Little Caesars pizza.  We have hopes, dreams and each other. It will have to be enough because -

We are driving to Miami from Jacksonville, Florida. This is a 349 mile trip by car.  Five hours drive.  A friend told us it is not five hours.  Try six hours.  He travels there frequently. Okay.  We tack on two hours drive time just to be sure.  We arrive at MIA (Miami International Airport) almost two hours later than planned.  Stress levels are high.  If we miss our flight we are done for. We make it to the departure zone.  I unload our entire lives onto the sidewalk and sprint back to the car with a quick kiss for my wife.  She stays behind.  As she dwindles in the rear view I feel horrible about leaving her there alone.  It is a mad house and she has too much to look after.  I must turn in the car. Thank the heavens I got the right amount of gas.  The gauge is just a smidgen over a half tank just like we picked it up.

Where do I turn it in?  There are signs.  I follow.  There is my wife.  There are signs.  I follow. There is my wife.  Stress.  There are signs.  I do not follow.  There is the rental drop off.  Whew.  I pull in.  There is standstill traffic.  A charter bus has gone the wrong way.  He cannot go forward or the bus will be a convertible.  There are men in the road, stopping traffic and trying to help the clearly inexperienced bus driver.  Ten minutes, twenty, horns blaring, people screaming.  I am sooooo not relaxed.  "Don't Panic"!  Clock still blinking- he is out!  I move forward.  Progress.  The Enterprise drop off is the last drop off, furthest away from well, anywhere.  I am a mile or more from my wife.  I scan for signs. No indication of how to get back to the airport is visible.  The Enterprise agent wants to know if they provided excellent customer service.  I want to get back to my wife. It has been almost 45 minutes since I left her.

Yes I will say I received excellent customer service if you will tell me how to get the airport.  They do.  I DID receive excellent customer service.

You take a train from the rental car garage to the airport.  It is a very long run to that train.  It is there when I get there.  I had to traverse two floors and a rather large parking garage to get there but it is there.  I'm on.  For a fleeting second I wonder if I got on the right train.  I know I did.  I call my wife.  "Almost there!" I yell over the noise.  People look at me, disgusted with my rudeness. I do not really care.  It is important my wife hears me and knows I am coming.  She does not, not really.  Off the train now.  I am, where am I?  Ah yes.  Of course.  There is the American Airlines departures sign.  I am at the far end of the airport.  The opposite end from my wife.  It is packed. I run.  10 minutes later I'm standing with my wife who has been trying to get a skycap for an hour. I am off again.  Trying to find a skycap.  I return with no skycap.  My wife has found one.  Time to get moving again.

Now I must tell you something important.  My wife is disabled.  She is not able to walk long distances without experiencing excruciating pain.  To sit down for long periods of time causes excruciating pain.  She cannot carry anything heavy.  Even something light is an issue.  She does not take pain medication.  She uses a cane.  This means once this skycap is gone, I am on my own.  The skycap sees her discomfort and takes us to the front of a very long line.  We feel bad for the others but we are already late.  No time for heroics here.  We have a job to do and this helps.

Queens, New York City

We get called to the check in counter. We present our passports, animal documentation, and payment for the animal transport.  We wait.  There are no benches.  My wife sits on the luggage. The luggage is weighed.  The first bag is too heavy.  I take my coat out of the bag and put it on though it is hot and I am sweating.  That does it.  Bags checked. There are issues with the animals. Really, the ticket agent just is not sure how to handle it.  Seeing my wife is in discomfort, she doesn't mess around too long.  She gets a supervisor, all the while explaining that we (my wife and I along with the cats) WILL be on that plane.  She will make sure of it.  Don't worry.  Stress level HIGH! Supervisor is here now.  All is good.  Boarding passes, paperwork.  My wife is done helping a woman figure out what international phone number she needs to call to inquire about flights to Chile.  My wife knows this number because as I mentioned before, she takes copious notes.  To security!

Not quite.  We get there.  An American Airlines employee sees my wife and I are having a hard time with the carry on.  There are no carts.  The security checkpoint is a long way off.  He grabs some bags and helps us.  Thank you American Airlines.  Initial checkpoint. TSA (Transportation Security Administration) says we cannot board our cats.  We only have 2 "passes" and there are four pets. We explain that there are two carriers, one pass for each.  That's what American Airlines allows. Doesn't matter.  No boarding for you.  My wife is beside herself.  I tell her "sit right here".  The American Airlines attendant stays with her, comforting her.  Thank you American Airlines.  I grab the cats and run back to the ticket agent.  She says TSA cannot do that.  Another manager.  She says "follow me".  I do, cats in tow.  The manager tells TSA they will let us board.  Furthermore, they will put us at the front of the line.  They do. Thank you American Airlines.  Thank you TSA.  To the plane!

TSA in action!

Not quite.  TSA has a problem here. "These are not the cats you are looking for." I say waving my hand at the squad leader.  The force is not strong in me. We have four freaked out cats.  I mean freaked out man.  There are dogs.  TSA does not want their own dogs freaked out right?  The cats must come out of the carriers for inspection.  Here I am going to stop.  TSA has an important, hard, and virtually thankless job to do.  Their job necessarily inconveniences passengers. They do not like it, we do not like it, but it keeps us safe.  All I will say is they helped us. They were courteous, respectful, and mindful of our situation, including my wife's pain.  They did not circumvent process or put anyone at risk.  Their process is not mine to discuss.  We made it through.  I am grateful they are there to protect us.

Now to the gate.  About 11 light years away.  Where are Han and Chewie when you need them, huh? What the heck is wrong with my hyper drive?  R2-D2 is gone again.  We might have 30 minutes. Ask for directions.  Train.  Arrive at gate.  Fully booked flight.  No seats.  No benches.  My wife is in agony.  We made it though.  Only boarding to go.

View from our plane after take off.  Goodbye USA!

Not quite.  Gate change.  Really?  Okay only four gates away.  Still no seats.  We wait.  For an hour.  I look up.  The information at the desk has just changed. It reads "Nicaragua".  I go to the desk. "Gate E34" the agent tells me.  A different concourse. Far, far away,  I tell my wife very quietly.  If I can get there before everyone else she will have a seat.  She tells me go.  Run, TJ, run.  I run like the wind.  Okay.  Not so much.  I have a cart on which I carry four cats, a laptop, a suitcase and every document we must have to make it through Customs.  I run.  Like a slug.  I beat everyone.  I get seats.  The gate says boarding starts in 5 minutes.  "?".  There is no one to speak to.  Again.  "?".  Where is my wife? Where are the agents?  Where is the plane?  Where is the rational universe?  At least I have my towel.  "Don't Panic!"  "?".

"Ever feel like you're living in an airport?"

My wife arrives behind everyone else.  I fight for her seat.  She flops down and off I go to find her a drink.  Soda of course.  Liquor is what we need but-

Two of these.

Not quite.  We are on the plane now.  It is an hour later.  We are in our seats.  The pilot is furious with the tower.  I am not sure I want a mad pilot.  He assures us he is going to cut corners to because he wants to get home too.  I grip my towel a bit tighter.  We are off.  Off the ground.  The cats are scared.  I can tell.  I am elated.  We are home free now. We made it.  They bring us food. They bring me complimentary Jack Daniels'. They bring my wife complimentary Bloody Marys'.  Can I get an amen?

And two of these.

Not quite.  Over Cuba we fly, over Jamaica.  Over Panama.  Pleasantly buzzed, we land 3 and a half hours later and boy are my arms tired.  Because of the cats, Okay?  Carrying the cats. Down a very long hallway we go.  My wife is waning.  It has been seventeen hours of traveling so far.  I am waning.  We have to clear Customs now.  We have been told it can take up to 2 hours with the animals.  I am braced.  We are told (all in Spanish) we must fill out some forms. Done.  We must get in this line.  Done. Passports please.  State your business.  Sleep is my business I almost say.  Business is definitely not good I also don't say. Off we go.  Get our luggage.  Find a cart.  Another form is handed to us by a child. We must fill it out.  Done.  Get in this line.  Done.  The man standing there says hello.  Are we traveling together?  How do I know what he is saying?  I just do.  Auto pilot says so.  My wife says so.  I cannot feel my arms now.  It is about time.  He presses a button.  A light turns green. Welcome to Ecuador.  Stunned, we walk past him.  My wife stops.  "We have to wait." she says. "He said go!" says I.  We go.  Fast.

That's good advice!

The next thing I know I am surrounded by the people of Ecuador.  They are waiting on their loved ones returning for summer break.  They are laughing and pointing at me, asking me questions I don't understand.  At first I am nonplussed.  I hear "Gatos!" and I know what that means.  They are laughing because this harried, long haired gringo has just gotten off the plane and does he have luggage?  No.  The luggage is on a cart I must go back and get.  He has cats.  Four cats. Now, I too am laughing. We made it!

Not quite.  Now we have to find our driver if he is here at all.  We are 2 hours late.  We had no way to call anyone.  No way to confirm our arrival. There's a sign!  "National Geographic Expedition". Not us.  Another sign in a sea of signs.  Jason and Tamera- that's us!  Our driver Oswando, gets a skycap.  They carry everything to his wonderful nine passenger van.  We tip the skycap $.50 cents per bag.  It is a good tip here and we are assured by Oswando, appropriate.  There are CD's.  There is air conditioning,  There is ice in my glass, so to speak.  He reclines the seats.  He tells us to sleep.  No worries.  He's got this.  Yeah, I can sleep.  Not one wink.  It is midnight.  We have a four and a half hour drive before we are home.

It is a comfortable ride.  My wife is a bit confused when the cats are meowing in their sleep.  Then a kitten mews.  It is our driver having some fun with us.  He is an animal person too.  He has a cat, two dogs, and two birds.  He sounds just like a kitten.  Despite the pain and stress, my wife is laughing for the first time in days.

We arrive at our new home and meet our friend Tamy; in person for the first time.  It is 4:30 AM. Her husband is also there and helps with the bags, cats and my wife.  They have cleaned the house. They have stocked it with groceries.  They give us the tour and then, leave so we can rest. Tamy assures us she will be back the next day to take us shopping for real.  We thank her.  We eat.  We walk down to the Pacific Ocean for the first time in our lives.  The sun is rising.  We are home.

Quite. Adios!

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